How to Set Boundaries at Work: 7 Clear Examples That Aren’t Rude

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Let’s be honest. It’s 8:47 PM, and your work phone just buzzed. A Slack message. Or maybe it’s an email marked “URGENT.” Your stomach drops a little. You’re supposed to be watching a movie, but now you’re thinking about that “quick question” from your boss.

Or maybe it’s this: You’re deep in focused work, finally making progress on a huge project, and a coworker taps you on the shoulder (or DMs you) with the classic, “Got a quick sec?”

You know it’s not a quick sec. You know it’s a 30-minute detour.

And you say “Sure, what’s up?”… and instantly hate yourself for it.

We’ve all been there. We live in a work culture that praises the “yes-person.” We’re taught that being a “team player” means being available 24/7. We believe that saying “no” is rude, unprofessional, or a career-killer.

Here’s the truth: This is a lie.

The single most damaging, burnout-inducing myth in the modern workplace is that a good employee has no boundaries.

In reality, the opposite is true. Setting clear, professional boundaries is the most respectful, productive, and trustworthy thing you can do.

Boundaries aren’t about being mean, lazy, or unhelpful. They are not walls you build to keep people out. They are clear, polite instructions on how to get the best, most focused, highest-quality work from you. They protect your time, your energy, and your ability to do the job you were actually hired to do.

This guide is for you if you’re a high-performer who’s drowning. It’s for the “people-pleaser” who is tired of feeling resentful. It’s for anyone who wants to reclaim their focus and stop burnout before it starts.

We’re not just going to talk about why you need boundaries. We’re going to give you the exact, word-for-word scripts to use in the 7 most common (and most awkward) work situations.

First, Why Is This So Unbelievably Hard?

If it were as simple as just saying “no,” you’d have done it already. The reason your heart pounds when you think about it is rooted in deep, human psychology.

• The People-Pleaser Myth: Most of us are wired to be agreeable. We like being liked. We’ve learned that “yes” gets us praise and “no” can lead to conflict. We’ve mistakenly tied our job security to being “nice” instead of being effective.
• The “Team Player” Guilt Trip: Many workplaces use “we’re a family” or “be a team player” as code for “don’t have personal needs.” You’re afraid that by protecting your time, you’ll be seen as selfish or that you’re letting the team down.
• The “Always-On” Tech Trap: Slack, Teams, email, and smartphones have destroyed the 9-to-5 workday. The “office” is now in your pocket, buzzing at dinner. This technology expects you to be available, and companies have done little to set rules against it.
• Fear of “What If…”: What if I get fired? What if my boss gets mad? What if I miss a promotion? This fear keeps us in a cycle of saying “yes” to everything, even when we know it’s leading to rushed, low-quality work.

Here’s the reframe: A boundary isn’t a “no.” It’s a “yes” to something else.

• Saying “I can’t look at this right now” is a “yes” to the critical project you’re already working on.
• Saying “I don’t check emails after 6 PM” is a “yes” to your family and your own mental health.
• Saying “I can’t take on that project” is a “yes” to doing your current projects with excellence.

When you’re clear, you’re kind. When you’re vague, you’re accidentally unkind—to your coworker (who doesn’t know what to expect) and to yourself (who is now over-committed and stressed).

The 4 Pillars of Professional Boundaries

Before we get to the scripts, let’s look at the four main types of boundaries you can set. They all work together.

1. Workload & Time Boundaries: This is the big one. It’s about protecting when you work and how much you work. This includes your start/end times, your lunch break, and your right to say your plate is full.
2. Communication Boundaries: This is about how and when you respond. Are you available on Slack for instant chats all day? Do you respond to emails in 5 minutes or 5 hours? Do you answer calls on your personal phone?
3. Role Boundaries: This is about protecting what you do. It’s the polite way of saying “That’s not my job.” This boundary prevents “role creep,” where your job description slowly expands to include a dozen things you never signed up for.
4. Emotional & Personal Boundaries: This is about protecting your focus and emotional energy. It’s about not getting pulled into office gossip, not feeling responsible for a coworker’s bad mood, or not oversharing about your own personal life.

Okay, theory’s over. Let’s get to the real-world situations and the scripts that will save you.

7 Clear Examples of How to Set Boundaries at Work (With Scripts You Can Steal)

Here is the formula for a perfect, polite boundary. Memorize it:

The Clear & Kind Formula:

1. Acknowledge & Validate: Start with a positive or empathetic statement. (“I appreciate you thinking of me for this,” “That’s a great point,” “I understand this is a priority.”)
2. State Your “No” or “Not Now”: This is the boundary itself. Be simple and clear. (“I’m not able to take that on right now,” “I can’t get to that today.”)
3. Give a Brief (Optional) Reason: This is not a long-winded excuse. It should be a simple, professional reason. (“…as I’m focused on the [X] deadline.”)
4. Offer an Alternative (The “Polite Pivot”): This is the magic step. It turns a “no” into a “yes, and…” It shows you’re still a helpful team player. (“…but I can get it to you by Friday,” “…could you ask [Person]?” “…can we put it on the agenda for our next meeting?”)

Now, let’s see it in action.

Example 1: The “Got a Sec?” Ambush That Kills Your Focus

The Scenario: You are in the zone. You’ve finally got all the data open, your brain is working, and you are hammering out that important report. A coworker, or even your boss, DMs you on Slack: “Got a quick sec to chat about the new project?”

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): “No, I’m busy.” (Abrupt, cold, creates tension.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): “Sure!” (You just derailed your entire afternoon. Your focus is shattered, and that “quick sec” turns into 45 minutes of vague brainstorming. You end up working late to finish the report.)

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• (On Slack/Teams): “I’d love to. I am deep in focus mode on the [Project Name] report until 3 PM. Can I swing by your desk or message you right after that?”
• (In-Person): “Absolutely. I’m right in the middle of something that I need to finish for [Client/Deadline]. Can I come find you in about an hour when this is done?”
• (If it’s your boss): “Happy to. I’m on a tight deadline for [Their Other Priority] right now. Can we connect at [Time], or would you like me to pause this to chat?”

Why It Works: You aren’t rejecting the person; you’re protecting the task. You show you’re helpful (“I’d love to,” “Happy to”) but also that you manage your time professionally. The last script (for your boss) is brilliant because it reminds them that you’re working on their other priority, forcing them to decide what’s more important.

Example 2: The After-Hours Email or “Urgent” Weekend Request

The Scenario: It’s 9 PM on a Tuesday, or Saturday afternoon. Your phone buzzes. It’s an email from your boss or a client with a request for something that is not a true emergency (the building is not on fire).

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): Just ignoring it. (This can sometimes be the right move, but it can also create anxiety for the sender, who then follows up, or for you, because you’re dreading Monday.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): “No problem!” You immediately stop your personal life, open your laptop, and do the task. You’ve just trained everyone that you are available 24/7. They will do it again.

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• Option 1: The “Don’t Respond” (Best for most things): This is a boundary in itself. You simply don’t respond until your next workday. This is the most powerful way to train people on your hours.
• Option 2: The “Receive & Schedule” (If you must respond): “Thanks for sending this. I’m offline for the day, but I’ll make this a priority when I’m back in the office tomorrow/Monday and will have an update for you by [10 AM].”
• Option 3: (If you use an “Out of Office” auto-reply): “You’ve reached me outside of my standard working hours (M-F, 9 AM-5 PM). I am not checking email but will respond as soon as possible during that time. If this is a true company emergency, please contact [Emergency Contact].”

Why It Works: Option 2 is a boss-level move. You acknowledge the request, which diffuses their urgency. You state your boundary (“I’m offline”). And you give them a clear, confident timeline. You’re not working, but you’re still in control. You’re seen as reliable, not as a pushover.

Example 3: Being Asked to Take On a New Project (When You’re at Capacity)

The Scenario: This is the big one. In a team meeting or a 1-on-1, your manager says, “Great news, I’d like you to lead the new [X] initiative!” Your heart sinks. You’re already working 50 hours a week. You physically do not have the time.

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): “I can’t. I’m too busy.” (This sounds like complaining and isn’t solution-oriented.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): “Okay, great. I’ll… find the time.” (You just signed up for months of stress, late nights, and resentment. Your other work will suffer, and you’ll be blamed for that, too.)

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• (To Your Manager): “That’s fantastic, I’m excited about that project. To make sure I can give it the attention it deserves, could we look at my current project list together? Right now, my main priorities are [Project A] and [Project B]. To take on [New Project], which of my current tasks should we de-prioritize or hand off?”
• (To a Peer/Coworker): “I really appreciate you thinking of me for this. My plate is full with [Project A] and [Project B] right now, so I don’t have the bandwidth to take on anything new. I’m not the best person to help you with this.”

Why It Works: The manager script is not a “no.” It’s a “yes, and…” It shows you’re a strategic thinker, not just a “doer.” You’re inviting your manager to do their job: prioritize. You’re presenting your workload as a simple fact, not a complaint. It makes the decision a collaboration about company goals, not a personal favor.

Example 4: The Unrealistic or “Drop Everything” Deadline

The Scenario: It’s 4:00 PM on a Friday. Your boss messages you, “Hey, can you pull together that full sales report for the last quarter? Need it by end of day for a client.” You know this is a 3-hour job, minimum.

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): “That’s impossible.” (True, but not helpful.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): “Okay…” (You cancel your Friday night plans, stay at your desk until 7 PM, and send a rushed, sloppy report that’s probably full of errors. You’ve set a precedent that this is okay.)

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• “Happy to get this for you. A thorough report like that usually takes about [X hours] to do well.”
• Then, add one of these pivots:
  • The “Slice” Pivot: “…To get you something today, I can pull the top-line numbers in the next 30 minutes, but I won’t be able to do the full analysis. Will that work for now, and I can send the full report on Monday?”
  • The “Quality” Pivot: “…I want to make sure this is 100% accurate for the client. I’m not confident I can do a quality job in the next hour. I can send it first thing Monday morning with a clear head.”
  • The “Negotiation” Pivot: “…What’s the most critical piece of data you need from it? I can get you that part right away.”

Why It Works: You’re not refusing the work; you’re refusing the impossible timeline. You’re reframing the conversation around quality. Most managers, when given the choice between “fast and wrong” or “a bit later and right,” will choose “right.” You’re showing you care about the result, not just about checking a box.

Example 5: The “Role Creep” Request (a.k.a. “That’s Not My Job”)

The Scenario: You’re a software developer. A coworker from another department keeps asking you for help formatting her newsletter in PowerPoint. You’re “the computer person,” right? It’s “role creep,” and it’s a huge waste of your specialized skills.

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): “That’s not my job. Ask IT.”

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): “Sure, fine.” (You do it, annoyed. Now you’re the official PowerPoint person for that department. The requests will never stop.)

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• (The Helpful Redirect): “That’s a great question. My expertise is really in [your actual job, e.g., ‘database management’], so I’m actually not the best person to help with PowerPoint formatting. I’m pretty sure [Person/Dept] is the expert on that. You may want to check with them.”
• (The “I Can’t” Redirect): “I wish I could help, but I’m under a hard deadline for the [Project] rollout. I’m not able to take on any other tasks right now. I think the marketing team has templates for that.”

Why It Works: This is a polite, helpful redirect. You’re not just rejecting them; you’re pointing them toward the correct solution. This reinforces your actual role and value at the company. It’s not “I won’t help you”; it’s “I’m the wrong person to help you, and here’s the right person.”

Example 6: The Coworker Who Vents, Gossips, or Overshares

The Scenario: A coworker, “Chatty Carl,” corners you by the coffeepot (or in a DM) and starts, “You won’t believe what Sarah did… ” or “I am just so sick of my manager…” It’s negative, it’s draining, and it’s putting you in an awkward spot. This is an emotional boundary.

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): “I don’t care,” or “Please stop gossiping.” (This feels preachy and creates a lot of drama.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): You listen politely. You even chime in. “Oh wow, really?” You’re now part of the gossip mill, your energy is drained, and “Chatty Carl” sees you as his go-to venting buddy.

The Clear, Kind & Professional Scripts:

• (The Empathetic Exit): “Wow, that sounds like a really frustrating situation. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Unfortunately, I’m on a super tight deadline and I really have to run back to my desk. I hope you can get it sorted out!”
• (The Subject Change): “That sounds tough. On a totally different note, did you see the memo about [Work-Related Topic]? I had a question about it.”
• (For the Chronic Complainer, be more direct): “You seem really frustrated with [Manager/Project]. Have you thought about talking to [Manager/HR] about it? It sounds like it’s really stressing you out.”

Why It Works: The “Empathetic Exit” is a masterpiece. You validate their feeling (“That sounds frustrating”) without agreeing with their content. Then, you use your (real or imagined) deadline as the “bad guy.” You’re not rejecting the person; you’re being “pulled away” by your work. It’s a flawless, drama-free exit.

Example 7: The Pointless or Last-Minute Meeting Invite

The Scenario: An invite lands in your calendar. It’s for 30 minutes from now. Or it’s for an hour-long meeting on a topic you have no connection to. There is no agenda. It’s a “meeting that could have been an email.”

The “Rude” Way (What We Fear): Declining with no comment. (This can work, but it can also be seen as a power move or just confusing.)

The “Too Nice” Way (The Problem): You accept. You sit there for 60 minutes, bored, scrolling on your phone under the table, while your real work piles up.

The Clear,Kind & Professional Scripts:

• (The “Clarify My Role” Tactic): “Thanks for the invite. To make sure I can come prepared and add value, could you let me know what you’re hoping I can contribute? Just trying to guard my focus time this week for [Project].”
• (The “Request an Agenda” Tactic): (In a comment on the invite) “Looking forward to it. Would it be possible to send out a quick 2-bullet agenda so I can prep any notes?”
• (The “Can I Just Read the-Cliff’s Notes?” Tactic): “I’m swamped with [Project] this week and am trying to skip any meetings I’m not critical for. Would it be okay if I skipped this one and just read the notes or follow-up email after?”

Why It Works: These are all requests for clarity. They position you as a professional who wants meetings to be effective and efficient. You’re not being difficult; you’re trying to make the meeting better. 9 times out of 10, the organizer will either send an agenda (making the meeting useful) or say, “Oh, you know what, I just needed [one piece of info], I’ll email you.” Win-win.

What If They Push Back? How to Hold Your Boundary

Sometimes, you’ll set a clear, polite boundary, and the person will… just ignore it.

• You: “I’m focused on [Project] until 3 PM, but I can help then.”
• Them: “This will only take a second. I just need you to look at this.”

This is the moment of truth. If you cave, you’ve taught them that your “no” just means “ask me again, but harder.”

Your tool here is The Broken Record.

You don’t get angry. You don’t get defensive. You just calmly and kindly repeat your boundary.

• Them: “This will only take a second.”
• You: (Calmly) “I understand. And as I said, I am on a hard deadline and can’t be interrupted. I can help you at 3 PM, but I can’t be pulled away right now.”

That’s it. You don’t need to J.A.D.E. (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain). Your long explanations are just footholds for them to argue with. (“But my thing is more important than your deadline!”)

Be polite, be firm, and be a broken record. “I can’t right now, but I’m happy to help at [Time].” “As I mentioned, I am offline for the day.” “As I said, my plate is full, and I can’t take that on.”

They will feel awkward and leave. You will feel powerful and focused.

A Special Case: Setting Boundaries with Your Boss

This is the final boss battle. It’s the scariest, but it’s the most important. All the examples above apply, but the key with your manager is to frame everything as a win-win for them and the company.

Never make it about your personal life (“I’m just so stressed,” “I want more work-life balance”). Always make it about the work.

• Bad: “I can’t take on this project; I’m totally burned out.”
• Good: “I’m excited about that project. To do it well, I’d need to pause my work on [Other Project]. Which one is the higher priority for you right now?”
• Bad: “Please stop emailing me on weekends.”
• Good: “I’m working on being more focused and present with my family on weekends so I can come in fully recharged on Monday. If a true emergency comes up, please [text me/call me], but otherwise, I’ll be acting on all your emails first thing Monday morning.”

The best time to set boundaries with your boss is before there’s a problem. Use your 1-on-1s.

• “Here’s my project list for the week. Does this look right to you?”
• “What is the #1 most important thing you need from me this week?”
• “I’m planning to do some deep, focused work on [Project] on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I’ll be turning off Slack to get it done. Does that work for you?”

You’re not asking for permission. You’re a professional partner, co-creating a plan for you to do your best work. That’s not rude. That’s invaluable.

The Long-Term Payoff: Boundaries Make You More Respected, Not Less

This will feel weird at first. You’ll feel guilty. You’ll worry you were rude.

But then, a funny thing will happen.

People will start to trust you more. They’ll know that when you say “yes,” you mean it. They’ll know that the work you deliver will be high-quality because you gave it the time it deserved.

Your “yes” will actually mean something.

You’ll stop being the “nice” one and start being the “effective” one. The “reliable” one. The “focused” one. And in the long run, those are the people who are truly respected.

Your first “polite no” is the hardest. But it’s also the most important. Start small. Pick one script from this list. Try it this week.

The goal isn’t to be unhelpful. The goal is to be sustainably helpful for your entire career.

Further Reading

• Harvard Business Review: Burnout is About Your Workplace, Not Your People
• Psychology Today: 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries
• Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
• Book: Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown