Apps vs. Websites to Make Friends: The Definitive Guide to Finding Your People

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Let’s be honest: making new friends as an adult is hard. Really hard.

When you were younger, friendship seemed to happen automatically. You were surrounded by people your own age in school, college, or sports. But as an adult? Life gets in the way. You might have moved to a new city for a job. Your old friends might be busy with kids and new careers. And if you work from home, your “office water cooler” is your kitchen sink.

Suddenly, that built-in social circle is gone. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Experts talk about a “friendship recession,” and feelings of loneliness have been on the rise. We are more connected digitally, but often feel more disconnected personally.

The good news? The same digital world that can sometimes feel isolating also offers powerful tools to fight back. If you’re looking to build new, meaningful connections, you have two main paths: friendship apps and friendship websites.

But which one is right for you?

One is like a fast-paced “friend dating” service in your pocket. The other is like a sprawling digital community center, or a club fair for grown-ups. They are built differently, serve different needs, and often lead to different kinds of friendships.

This is the definitive guide to help you understand that choice. We’ll break down exactly how each platform works, the real pros and cons, who they’re best for, and—most importantly—how to use them safely and successfully to find your people.

The Big “Why”: Why Is It So Hard to Make Friends Today?

Before we dive into the “how,” it’s important to understand the “why.” If you feel like this is harder than it should be, you’re right. It is.

Our modern lives are not built for casual, repeat-seeing. Sociologists call this the problem of the “third place.”

• The First Place: Your home.
• The Second Place: Your work (or school).
• The Third Place: The physical, public spaces where people meet and build community. Think of the coffee shop where the barista knows your name, the local park, the library, community centers, or even the corner pub.

For many of us, these “third places” have shrunk. We shop on Amazon, not on Main Street. We work from home offices, not in bustling buildings. We stream movies, not go to the local theater. We’re efficient, but we’re also isolated.

This is the problem that friendship apps and websites are trying to solve. They are our new “third places.” They just happen to be digital.

Understanding the Digital Social Landscape: The Two Main Paths

At a glance, apps and websites might seem the same. You log on, you find people, you talk. But the philosophy behind them is completely different.

The “App” Approach: The “Friendship Dating” Model

Friendship apps, like Bumble BFF, are built on the model of their very successful cousins: dating apps.

The core idea is one-on-one matching based on proximity and personality. You create a profile, you see other individual profiles, and you “match” with people you find interesting. The goal is to quickly find a single person you click with and start a conversation.

• Analogy: Think of it like “speed friending” or a curated introduction service.
• The Process: Swipe. Match. Chat. Meet.
• The Focus: The individual.

The “Website” Approach: The “Digital Community Center” Model

Friendship-focused websites, like Meetup, are built on an older internet idea: community.

The core idea is bringing groups of people together around a shared interest or activity. You don’t “match” with one person. You join a group dedicated to “Boston Board Game Nights” or “Saturday Morning Hikers.” The friendship is a byproduct of the activity.

• Analogy: This is your digital club fair, your town bulletin board, or your community center.
• The Process: Search (for an interest). Join (a group). Attend (an event).
• The Focus: The activity or group.

Let’s dive deep into what it really feels like to use each one.

The App Deep Dive: Convenience in Your Pocket

Friendship apps put the power of connection right in your hand. They are fast, modern, and built for a mobile-first world.

How Friendship Apps Work (The “Swipe-to-Connect” Model)

The user experience is simple by design.

1. Build a Profile: You upload a few photos and write a short bio. You might answer some prompts like “My ideal weekend is…” or “I’m looking for a friend who…”.
2. Set Your Filters: You define your location (e.g., “within 10 miles”), age range, and sometimes other identifiers.
3. Start Swiping: You’re shown a stack of profiles, one by one. You swipe right for “Yes, I’m interested” and left for “No, not for me.”
4. It’s a Match!: If you swipe right on someone who also swiped right on you, you get a “match.”
5. Start the Chat: You’re now in a private, one-on-one chat. On a platform like Bumble BFF, women have to send the first message, a rule designed to reduce spam.

Pros: The Big Wins

Cons: The Downsides

Popular Friendship Apps to Know

• Bumble BFF: The 800-pound gorilla in the space. It’s a “mode” inside the main Bumble dating app. It’s popular, has a large user base (especially women in their 20s and 30s), and the “women-message-first” rule creates a generally more respectful environment.
• Peanut: This is a brilliant example of a niche app. It’s “Meetup for moms.” It connects women through all stages of motherhood, from fertility and pregnancy to toddler playdates and beyond. Its specificity is its greatest strength.
• Yubo: This app is geared very young (teens and early Gen Z). Its model is less about one-on-one swiping and more about joining live video “lounges” to chat with small groups.
• Friender / ATLETO: These are smaller, niche apps that try to bridge the gap. They match you with people based on your favorite activities. This gives you an immediate, built-in “what to do” for your first meetup.

The Website Deep Dive: Finding Your Tribe

Friendship-focused websites are the internet’s original social tool. They are often more “clunky” than slick apps, but what they lack in design, they make up for in depth.

How Friendship Websites Work (The “Interest-First” Model)

This process is more like joining a club.

1. Search for an Interest: You don’t look for a person. You look for a thing. You type in “hiking,” “coding,” “baking,” “Spanish,” or “indie film.”
2. Find a Group: The site shows you a list of groups related to that interest. You’ll see “Chicago 20-Somethings Hiking” or “NYC Board Game Nerds.” You can read the group’s description, see who its members are, and look at past events.
3. Join the Group: With a click, you’re a member. You’ll now be notified of new events.
4. RSVP and Show Up: The group’s organizer (or any member) will post an event: “Hike at Starved Rock – Saturday at 10 AM.” You RSVP “Yes,” and then… you just show up.
5. Meet People: You arrive at the event and are now in a group of 10-20 people who all share your interest. Conversation is easy because you have a built-in topic.

Pros: The Big Wins

Cons: The Downsides

Popular Friendship Websites to Know

• Meetup: The undisputed king of this category. Its entire business is built on facilitating in-person group events. From tech talks to knitting circles to language exchanges, if you can think of it, there’s probably a Meetup group for it in a major city.
• Reddit: While not a “friendship site,” it’s a powerful tool. Nearly every city has its own “subreddit” (e.g., r/chicago, r/austin). People often post “Anyone want to check out this new brewery?” or “Starting a D&D group for beginners.” It’s a more DIY approach, but highly effective.
• Facebook Groups: Similar to Reddit, the power here is in the niche. Search for “Your City + Your Hobby” (e.g., “Brooklyn Dog Owners,” “Philly Rock Climbers”). These groups are full of local people organizing events and sharing tips.
• Nextdoor: This is a hyper-local website for your specific neighborhood. It can be a mixed bag (think: lots of posts about lost cats or “suspicious” people). However, it’s also a great place to find local book clubs, babysitting co-ops, or just find out which of your neighbors also likes to garden.

Head-to-Head: A Direct Comparison

So, how do they stack up? Let’s put them side-by-side.

Feature	Friendship Apps (e.g., Bumble BFF)	Friendship Websites (e.g., Meetup)
Primary Goal	Find a Person.	Do an Activity.
Interaction Style	One-on-one (Digital-first)	Group-based (IRL-first)
Connection Basis	Personality, photos, proximity.	Shared interests, hobbies.
Pace	Fast. You can match in minutes.	Slow. Friendships build over weeks or months.
Best For	Extroverts, new movers, simple schedules.	Introverts, people with specific hobbies.
Biggest Risk	Superficiality, ghosting, “swiping” fatigue.	Low event-availability, takes more effort.

Who Should Choose an App?

An app might be right for you if…

• You Just Moved: You’re in a new city and know no one. An app is the fastest way to find another person nearby for a low-stakes coffee and conversation.
• You’re an Extrovert: You enjoy one-on-one conversation and aren’t intimidated by meeting a stranger.
• You Have a Hectic Schedule: You can’t commit to a weekly board game night. You’d rather find one person you can text and schedule hangouts with flexibly.
• You’re Looking for One or Two Close Friends: You want to find that “bestie” you can text all day and have wine nights with, rather than a larger social group.

Real-World Example: Meet Sarah. Sarah just moved to Denver for a new job. She’s outgoing but doesn’t know a soul. She uses Bumble BFF and sets her range to 5 miles. She matches with a few other women in her neighborhood who also just moved. After a few days of chatting, she meets one for a hike. It’s a fast, efficient way to get her first social “win” in a new city.

Who Should Choose a Website?

A website might be right for you if…

• You’re an Introvert: The idea of a one-on-one “friend date” is terrifying. You’d much rather show up to a bookstore for a silent reading party or join a hiking group where you can just… hike.
• You Have Specific, Niche Hobbies: You love Dungeons & Dragons, 18th-century literature, or urban foraging. You won’t find that on a swipe-app profile. You will find it on Meetup.
• You Prefer to Get to Know People Slowly: You want to build trust over time. Seeing the same group of people at a weekly trivia night is a low-pressure, natural way to build lasting bonds.
• You’re More Focused on the Activity: Your main goal isn’t just “find a friend.” Your goal is “I want to go kayaking.” Making friends is the amazing bonus.

Real-World Example: Meet Tom. Tom has lived in his city for years, but his old friends have moved away. He’s a bit shy and loves strategy board games. He goes on Meetup and joins the “Seattle Strategy Gamers” group. He RSVPs for a “Terraforming Mars Tuesday” event at a local game store. He goes every week for two months. He slowly gets to know the regulars, and soon they’re grabbing dinner before the game. He’s built a whole new social circle, one game at a time.

The Universal Playbook: How to Actually Make a Friend (And Be Safe)

Choosing a platform is only Step 1. No app or website can make a friend for you. It’s a tool. You have to know how to use it. This playbook works for both.

Step 1: Create a Profile That Attracts, Not Just Describes

Your profile is your personal advertisement. Don’t make it boring.

• Show, Don’t Tell: Instead of writing “I like hiking,” use a photo of you on a hike. Instead of “I’m a foodie,” use a photo of you at a cool food truck.
• Be Specific: This is the most important tip.
  • Bad: “I like music, food, and travel.” (So does everyone).
  • Good: “I’m obsessed with 90s hip-hop, am on a mission to find the best tacos in Austin, and my last trip was to a cabin in the mountains.”
• Post a Conversation Starter: Give people an easy way to message you. Include a line like, “Ask me about the time I… (something funny)” or “Seeking friends who can help me keep my houseplants alive.”
• The “No” List: Avoid negativity (“No drama,” “Not on here often”), blurry photos, and group photos where we can’t tell which one you are.

Step 2: The Art of the First Message

Please, for everyone’s sake, do not just send “Hey.” It’s the kiss of death.

• DON’T: “Hey,” “Hi,” “What’s up?,” “How are you?”
• DO:Reference their profile. This proves you actually read it.
  • “Hey! I saw you’re also a massive fan of The Strokes. What did you think of their last album?”
  • “Your picture from that hiking trail looks amazing! I’ve been meaning to go. Is that as hard as it looks?”
  • (On Meetup): “Hi! I see you’re an organizer for the hiking group. I’m new, just wanted to say thanks for putting these together!”

The goal of the first message is not to declare friendship. It’s just to get a reply and start a simple, low-pressure conversation.

Step 3: From Digital Chat to Real-World Friend (The 3-P Safety Plan)

This is the most important step. You must take the connection offline to make it real. But you must do it safely.

• Pace: Don’t rush, but don’t be a “pen pal” forever. After a few days of good, consistent chat, it’s time to move it forward. A great intermediate step is a quick video call. This is a 5-minute “vibe check” that can save you both a lot of time and confirm the person is who they say they are.
• Public: Your first few meetings should always be in a public place. A coffee shop, a busy park, a group event, or a library. Do not meet at your home or theirs.
• Plan: Tell a different friend (or a family member) your “3-P Plan”:
  1. Who you are meeting (a screenshot of their profile).
  2. Where you are meeting (the exact address).
  3. When you are meeting, and when you’ll text them to check in.

Safety & Privacy: The Non-Negotiables

Your safety is more important than anyone’s feelings. This is a non-negotiable part of E-E-A-T: Trustworthiness.

• Protect Your Personal Data: Do not share your home address, your workplace, or your last name in your profile or in the first few chats.
• Watch for Red Flags:
  • Asking for money: 100% of the time, this is a scam. Block and report immediately.
  • Becoming romantic or sexual: You’re on a friendship platform. If someone pushes these boundaries, they are not respecting you. Block and report.
  • Avoiding a video call: If they have a million excuses why they can’t do a quick video call, they are likely a “catfish” (using fake photos).
  • Inconsistent stories: If their details don’t add up, trust that feeling.
• Trust Your Gut: If anything feels weird, it is weird. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can unmatch, block, report, and move on. The right friends won’t make you feel unsafe.

The Future of Friendship: What’s Next?

This space is only going to get bigger and more specific.

• The Rise of the Niche: Expect to see more apps like Peanut. We’ll see popular apps for dog owners (“Want to meet at the park?”), for gamers (“Let’s find a co-op partner”), and for fitness (like ATLETO).
• VR and the Metaverse: Will our “third places” be virtual? Platforms like VRChat are already home to massive communities where people form deep, lasting friendships, sometimes without ever meeting in real life.
• AI Companions: This is the strange, new frontier. AI chatbots are being marketed as “friends” you can talk to 24/7. While they might ease temporary loneliness, they are not a replacement for real, human connection. They are a tool, and they should be used with caution.

Conclusion: Your Best Platform Is the One You’ll Actually Use

So, after all this, what’s the verdict? Apps or websites?

The truth is, there is no “best” platform. There is only the best platform for you, right now.

The platform is just the tool. The real work of friendship—showing up, being vulnerable, listening, and being consistent—is still up to you.

• If you’re an extrovert in a new city who needs a quick connection, start with an app like Bumble BFF.
• If you’re an introvert who wants to find a group that shares your passion for 80s movies, start with a website like Meetup.

And there’s no rule you can’t use both. Use an app to find one-on-one coffee dates, and use a website to find your weekly trivia team.

It takes courage to put yourself out there. It feels awkward and vulnerable. But every person on that app or website is feeling the exact same way. They’re all just looking for the same thing you are: someone to talk to.

So, take a deep breath, create a great profile, and send a message that you’d be happy to receive. Your people are out there waiting.

Further Reading

• Pew Research Center: Men, Women and Social Connections (For data on loneliness and social networks)
• Psychology Today: How to Make Friends as an Adult (For the psychological principles of adult friendship)
• Meetup: A Month-by-month Approach to Making Friends in 2024 (Official blog with tips on using the platform)
• Bumble: Bumble for Friends: How to Make Friends Online Safely (Official safety and profile tips from the app)
• The New York Times (via Oprah Daily): 17 Smart Ways to Make Friends in a New City (For practical, expert-backed advice)